I made an appointment for Bax 3000 even though my skin was doing well earlier this week. By appointment time, 48 hours later, my skin was really really dry and angry. By evening after the appointment, my face calmed down considerably. The next morning was dedicated to pain management and brainstorming how to understand the ever changing condition of my skin. My face looked relatively fine but the electric thunderstorm was in waves I did not like. Imagine having a bunch of paper cuts smarting on your face.
It was not an ice pack day. It was a hot towel spa day. It was a miserable day and the pain had me at my kitchen table constantly cuddling a little wet face towel.
Why do I feel less discomfort when I’m teaching or with my friends?
Doing the dishes, while washing a knife, I actually thought that cutting my arm would feel less painful than my face. That’s how miserable it gets. It comes in waves. During the respites, I try to be productive; clean, pay bills, read other blogs on how others have found comfort. I played the piano and was able to escape for a bit but found myself back to heating water to make more hot towels.
I didn’t cancel my weekly dinner with my best friend, N. Though I was a total turtle putting dinner together, I did manage to bake bread and make dinner. I fought my body all afternoon to claim my dominance. If there’s anything I want to be a master hacker of, it’s my own mind and body. N. arrived and made salad. My boyfriend joined us. I felt better.
There’s somethings that can’t be bottled and applied.
As much pain I may feel, it’s less sharp when I’m with someone who cares about me doing something that takes my mind away from the consuming misery. After hearing that I felt better when I was not alone, my boyfriend told me to gather my things so that I can get some rest at his place.
I fell asleep by midnight. It was good to not watch the sun rise.
Next week my boyfriend’s brother arrives from Texas and we head off to comic con. I’m planning on feeling great. My skin may have its moods but I’m committed to figuring it out. I’m a negativity slayer. I’m going through TSW and I know I will be okay.