10.10.10


Ten is the number for perfection and order.

I am spending this day of perfection and order at home to reflect.

KNL is meeting for dance rehearsal and this is the first time that I have chosen to not perform. I will be attending their 20th anniversary gala performance at the Los Angeles Theatre Center next month though and will enjoy being a friend and fan of their work. I love dance and its demands but didn’t have the space for rehearsals. I get my fix for now attending flamenco and the occassional bollywood dance class.

2010’s resolution of clarity and focus has called into jnetsworld some rigorous conversation within and with others so that that I may enjoy a clearer path towards the future. (Yes, I still am trying to keep on target with my new year’s resolution on this October day. Don’t tell me you’ve chucked yours into the bin!)

Questionable friends have been placed at the end of a long table and my home is truly home to me now and I don’t need a roommate to make it fill with life and sound. I must be on the right track because I’ve been fortunately blessed with opportunities and new students to confidently thrive solo.

Clearing my world of certain people was not easy. Where straight forward conversation did not work – silence worked best. I think I spent the good first quarter of the year just LISTENING to the spin of some people. If you think facebooking takes up unnecessary time and energy, reconsider how keeping company with certain people in REAL TIME is actually worse.

I stopped playing audience to people who compromised the spotlight and had not shared the stage during social settings… who used me in place of hiring a therapist, … who spoke with pretense and had a string of broken promises and needed people to bail them out of their chronic troubles.

I actually now have time to enjoy my true friendships and don’t feel exhausted to enjoy time with my family.

DAAYYYYUUUMMM, you ejected people from jnetsworld???!!!

Yes.. As nicely as possible to define personal boundaries and within social protocol. For those that could care less about JNET borders, were ignorant or thought themselves above social niceties and were curious how far they can push for money, energy, and time; things were messy.

I wish I did it sooner. I would have not suffered the illnesses I had. I would have saved money and a lot of stress and tears. My two years work with Clandestine Wax Cutie  finally defined to me what it meant to be “thrown under the bus.” I had never heard the term before knowing them.

I was naive and now I am all the wiser.

The world is still full of awesome, good, kind, generous, fun people.

It’s 10.10.10 and I am in love and I am loved. Why? Because I took on loving myself by sticking to my resolution for clarity and focus. I didn’t want to second guess my life in 2010.

Do you want to get more clarity and focus for your life? You write the story. Yet, would you let someone else’s voice write into your book indiscriminately with their doodlings and expressions of crayon? Something to think about on this perfect ten of a day.

JNET

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~ by jnetsworld on October 10, 2010.

One Response to “10.10.10”

  1. “…would you let someone else’s voice write into your book indiscriminately with their doodlings and expressions of crayon? ”

    I love that one

    I had to ask myself the same question
    and find out that some people I thought close are actually very far

    far from understanding who I really am
    and what I am trying to accomplish in this lifetime

    a.

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