at the end of patience

At the End of Patience

I have been sick and bound to home for the past week. With fevers in the 100’s and chills making me too dizzy to think, I was thankfully in the good care of friends who checked in regularly and brought me soup and good cheer.

A recurring thorn said its well meaning hello and then proceeded to tell me that I was a depressed and sad person that wouldn’t be ill…


I would just say yes to the universe for once to “love”.

It always amazes me when someone insists in knowing me better than myself.

And this is a well meaning “friend” who promised to visit me and didn’t even call when they knew they weren’t going to make their appointment with me. TWICE. And this is a well meaning “friend” who criticizes the men in my life for not “taking care” of me when he himself had hired me for some freelance work many many many months ago and has yet not paid me.

I am unloading my well meaning friend now. If he is unaware of his promise making addiction then he is also unaware of my past willingness at forgiveness and patience which only comes from happy and whole people. I had told him as recently as this past month that I was willing to take on projects with him because I found his work interesting. I liked his friend and business partner, P and perhaps vested a good deal of trust on the goodness of P. I found others to work on GP’s projects and liked the idea of friends helping friends’ projects grow.

A sample of the promise machine’s sputterings via text:

28/July Give me your account number. I will transfer money to you now.

Did not happen. I got this text poolside, on vacation. I gave him the info but at a later time… Meanwhile a bit of his life falls apart and he disappears for a bit.

5/October All is well. I will shoot you some money this week.

23/October I just bribed the studio to get me a check today. I know you need it.

28/October Thanks. Friday you get a care package.

Some people say that friends and money never mix. I say bad friends don’t come through… whether its money or showing up to your birthday party. And well meaning doesn’t mean well when it stops making you feel good about your friend.

This is my goodbye to GP, a once promising friend who became a promise making and breaking friend.

Official closing:

JNET: “I am cutting you loose, GP. I gave it a great deal of thought and thought it best. Good luck. P is a sweet and genuine and a good man (his business partner). Take care of yourself and your friends. Obviously, I am not one of them.”

This was his answer.

GP: “We all do the best we can.”

I am not inspired.



~ by jnetsworld on November 23, 2009.


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