flying notions

Flying Notions

I thought it would be a nice surprise to visit my mom for her birthday and have a quick visit with my brothers… En route, I side-stepped a marriage proposal.

I’m not dating anyone so its surreal to have affections and devotions bubble from the platonic pool.

G: “Tell your mom that I’ve asked you a gazillion times to marry me…”

Even Mystic had a line for mom as I made way to visit her …

M: “Say hello to my future mother-in-law….”

Mom would be thrilled to hear that I found a knight in shining armor. In my eyes, they all look like they are polishing… Shining? No… not yet.

I landed at my brother’s.  I wanted to play with my niece and have a gander at the family’s newest addition.

I did not sleep until 3:30am. I did not write. I did not read… I instead held my brother’s inconsolable baby; fed and burped the cute creature while my brother played catch up with house stuff while his wife rested. (She was to take the 5am shift)

Any romance of babies I had was brought to a halting reality… Children are a load of responsbility but WOW. There is really no room for a creative quiet thought to wander to have a life of its own when there’s a screaming one in your arms with a direction of its own.

It would be nice to fall in love. It would be nice to have children of my own someday… But, I am having trouble seeing how I may enjoy a certain unfetteredness that IS my identity through my current prospects. I cannot phantom giving up the space I have and need for free stream of thought.

I ignore incoming calls and even people when they walk into my house while I am practicing the piano or writing. I’m the girl who sometimes checks her phone messages at the END of the week..and sometimes, the END of the MONTH.

I adore my nieces all the same and woke up to find my brother asleep on the couch with his newborn finally quiet and asleep on his chest. My college roommate gave me a call…

C: “Let’s meet up for lunch and play catch up.”

I found my car dead in my brother’s driveway. It seems that the battery went out over the night. Mom was busy and she said her mechanic was booked full for the day. My brother dropped me off to meet with C for lunch where she was hanging with her parents and her husband. It was a short visit to play catch up.

Fast forward a few hours and I was with THE CLAN. I didn’t get to look after my car because the shop closed, having no opening for me and I figured Mr. AAA can test my battery for me when he charges it up. I enjoyed family time, took loads of pictures, laughed, and watched mom get all misty eyed and happy to have her ducklings in a row. We had a good time.

Mr. AAA did not bring his battery testing equipment. He got my car running and I decided to chance the 150 mile drive home. They only tow 100 miles and I was beyond the limit. I figured if I could just get 50 miles north, I might get all the way home or at least save the $300 towing fees. If I stayed at mom’s there was no guarantee that my car was going to get fixed. Her mechanic is a fervent lover of Japanese cars… Mine is German.

I made it home by 5am. The car story is an adventure of its own. I spoke to a dozen people and made for a memorable night for my mom. I think there is a happy ending, it’s still in process though. Despite the chaos that Life delivers, there is nothing like the silence that I know as my bestfriend.

I am the girl who does want everything; silence, love, babies, adventure, travel. I saw fleeting glimpses of what is possible… but I have a specific vision and dream and that is what I live toward.



~ by jnetsworld on July 20, 2007.


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