moving forward and onto something different

“A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us.
To live is to be slowly born.”

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

It’s all new terrain… this blogtalk radio thing.

Writing and being ready, energetic and on-the-air live every Saturday morning at 9am is my new commitment at stretching my comfort zone boundaries.  Every Saturday I meet my nerves in controlling my switchboard, keeping a topic focused, engaging and positive, and handling my 30 minutes gracefully…(Mad panic during the last couple of minutes.)

But before I’m even on the air, I am preparing my notecards, fumbling with dialing into my host line (darn… what’s that number AGAIN?) and wondering how to jump into my introduction as my show’s music initiates. (It’s like playing jump rope)

The art of a smooth entry amuses me. I don’t have the luxury of being able to fade my music… it is a “push stop and there you go”… endeavor.

Into the live internet wilderness I go with at least one friend to keep me company while a mysterious public listens. I torture myself at the end of each show by listening and critiquing my performance straight after.

I need to speak with more energy. I need to slow down and stop sounding like I’m a runaway train. I need to take my time and deliberate my thoughts…. I need to control my nervous energy… I need to… I need to… I need to…

UGGHH. It’s a painful learning process of trial and error. I’ve happily blogged in silence for a couple of years. Now I’m stretching myself into public speaking. It is so tempting to push that delete button… Make the program disappear in thin air. But I archive it… the unpolished stepping stone of my journey.

Can I command a conversation between three? Can I command a conversation by myself to an invisible public? How far can I engage my voice? Can I eventually learn how to engage 1000 listeners? Can I control the gnawing temptation to delete my mistakes and strive within unbroadcasted perfectionist practicings?

Such are the thoughts in expanding my world.



~ by jnetsworld on June 23, 2007.


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