out of my mind and back again

Out of My Mind and Back Again

What is this suffering that I am going through?

I read through last year’s blog entries and gathered that I have lost my mind… in other words, I have relinquished my power and needed to reclaim it.

I’ve allowed people to take advantage my living space, my time… my head space. I’ve been off-track by allowing the dynamics of different personalities sway me. I wanted to be open-minded, tolerant and expand my experience but found the gains incongruent to who I am.

It was a learning experience. In not defining the boundaries, I got bulldozed over, in venturing outside of my world, I got lost in unfamiliar terrain.

I’ve continued writing for the sake of practice and have felt contempt toward the way my thoughts have been. Where does this come from? I wondered with disappointment at my weakness.

Plutarch came to mind today…

If you live with a cripple, you will learn to limp.

This is a quote that I KNOW but hadn’t been thinking clearly to shake my malaise earlier. I had been swept up in overwhelming dramas that just had me in a hypnotic state.

Imagine having the television set on ALL THE TIME with the volume up high and all you watched was HYPE.

Now that the “image” no longer works on me, I’m free. I’m throwing out the “television set” and want to set my eyes again on my goals… I need to think about my dreams and stop listening to the wow monologues given by the sparklies that want to take me on as their audience.

I am excited about life again… to run the race that i am meant to run.

JNET

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~ by jnetsworld on July 7, 2006.

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