pitching for love

Pitching For Love

Hearing “I love yous” in succession after returning from my trip has been more unsettling than being jet-lagged and I wondered why it is so difficult to believe in a town where “dreams come true.”

“Buy my CD!”

“Read my script!”

“Go to my show!”

“Come see my art!!”

Perhaps a lifestyle of pitching and selling one’s ideas perhaps to a point of mental and emotional prostitution has a domino effect on the Los Angeles plane of love.

Being excited to make a new friend, I feel thrown onto an invisible clock and I become a project that must yield dividends as soon as possible. A fledging relationship is interpreted with predictions bringing up estimations like a movie about to be released.

“I think we’ll open at 14 million this weekend.”

What is real passion for life when there is no directness and vulnerability?

It was a friend’s litany of lovespeak and sentimentalizing RIGHT AFTER unsuccessfully prospecting my roommate that made me wonder if maybe Hollywood has altered him.

In a world where people juggle projects as they pursue others, quality of life seems to find a new dimension. My friend’s “I love you” has lost value and I was saddened that he was a machine of words. I suppose I needn’t care because I had only platonic feelings toward him but I found it disturbing that he could improvise so well. His insincerity was a serious mind game that I couldn’t let pass. This somewhat good person was getting sucked into the matrix. I spoke with him in hopes to get him off the grid. He’s heavily plugged in for he is wreaking mini havocs in his journey to pitch.

And so TIME is my ally and not my enemy as it is to others in this neurotic town. Do I want love? Of course. It’s the most important thing to me that I listen for in the spaces of silence where pretense takes to the bench.
Until then, I will face getting berated by girlfriends who’ll watch me let “that good one get away.” I’ll deal with the frustrations of pitchers who’ll use finesse, guilt and then anger to place me into their cages. And I’ll have to have faith that indeed truth exists and that love is patient.

JNET

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~ by jnetsworld on May 22, 2006.

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