warming up to life

Warming Up to Life

Tomorrow… my goal is to spend as much time by myself as possible. I miss ME.

I teach a lesson in the morning and straight afterwards I’ve been requested to check upon a piano that my student’s mom is considering to purchase… I am hoping to spend some time with Beethoven in the afternoon and work on the 3rd movement as well as polish “Big My Secret”…

I’m sitting in my habitual deep freeze mode. When I’m finally at a final stretch on meeting a goal, I find that I lose my wind. Having a coach to study my piano pieces with makes that habit really stand out to me. I have a witness that sees me do my funny thing as I work on de-programming my deep freeze program.

I’ve been given an opportunity to stake my claim in working my music and writing skills. I’ve chosen to take it on… I’d like to find different realms to deprogram myself within (getting control of those emotional babies called Fear and Insecurity).. having a supportive mentor to coach the possibilities within me is exciting… Already, I’m feeling the slowing effects of fear but I show up anyway. Making sense of the dynamics and learning the “new dances” within television and film will be an adventure.

I recently read that…

“The secret of life… is to fall seven times and get up eight times.”

I’ll be fine… I BOUNCE!

As I “warm up” to life by taking on more projects, taking care of life… I think I just may be ready to take on the world of relationships at a new level. I suffer from “deep freeze” through many aspects of my life and find myself between feeling frustrated and feeling apathetic.

And then I wake up from my “fall” and get up again to take on what I’ve set out to do…

It is unbelievably easy to check out of the game with excuses or justifiable reasons. I’m becoming more aware of myself and of those moments when I feel captured. Choosing to define the moment with MY CHOICE despite mysel makes for an interesting game of life.

I may be exploring A LOT about right now… it is not without surpassing fields of fear.

And so grows on JNETSWORLD.



~ by jnetsworld on December 30, 2005.


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