valentine’s day humbug

Valentine’s Day Humbug

I am throwing a little itty bitty party tonight. While travelling-in-twos will be celebrated, I will not lament and feel sorry for myself nor will I allow my friends to sit alone for the evening.

Cocktails and Cranium at Jeannette’s house! All those who long to use the carpool lane, feel lost during the holidays and is feeling left out of the mushy plate of love; I feel your PAIN!

Suffering from shyness, nailed down by your gnawing neurosis, crushed by your last crush???

Above the neediness, content with solitude, having high standards or a low attention span???

That’s me.. that’s me… that’s me!

who will call? Will anyone call? Oh, I think I’ll have to buy my own darn flowers. Blast!

Anyway, I’m having an impromptu hang. I may have three people over; I may have ten. I sort of invited my crush and I’m hoping my telepathic powers will inspire him to think of me. Maybe he’s telepathically asking me what time to come over as I wonder here if he can read my mind. I am hopeless here in the dating game. Can you tell?

God help me! I sure need it because me + boyfriend equals miracle.

Anyway, that’s just my little critical voice doing it’s little daily torture. These little dips of insecurity are more amusing than torture these days. The truth of the matter is, my crush knows where I am and I know where he is. He is where he is and I am where I am because that’s where IT IS.. And I am exactly where I am and where I want to be and he’s exactly where he wants to be…

Care to dance with either of us??

This makes me smile..

I luckily enjoy my own company and I am not that terribly motivated to start anything huge with a lot of different prospects I know. I don’t have a sense of what kind of relationship or boyfriend I’ll be getting.

If anyone was really auditioning for the part… I have guys who are either enslaved or engaged by their work (still trying to find out which… made difficult by the fact that) I have guys who call once or twice a month (it’s hard getting friendly with a ghost)… Others are busy praying and too busy to ask me out…

Life is very funny… I can’t seem to will myself into a new crush. What’s up with that? And then I think… why not drop the E. crush?? But then I get charmed again by just thinking about him. ahhh sigh

So thank you friends and prospective boyfriends for the ecards and letting me know that today is not a loveless Valentines Day. Come over for drinks, bring flowers if you want extra brownie points…. bring more for the other girls if you want even more brownie points and stretch your uncommitted net out further.

2005 Happy Valentines Day Everyone
Here’s to the possibility of love, laughter and magic..

I need to remind myself also that I am the possibility of unstoppable love, courage, self-expression and transformation….

Hence… my little get-together despite my humbug feelings…
blah… yucky…
kissy sissy..
sexy pepsi…

I mean… yes, i would love to experience love!



~ by jnetsworld on February 14, 2005.


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