thankfulness in my solitude

A Happy Thanksgiving with Myself

Another Thanksgiving Day. This year I am spending it with me. Today the three hour drive to San Diego will be six hours with frenzied people rushing to family get-togethers. Doing the drive alone normally isn’t the problem but it’s joining the crazy, frenetic energy that makes it uneasy driving.

Is it a turkey obsession that prompt reckless driving?

I’ve just finished saying a happy thanksgiving hello to mom. She’s fine with me choosing to stay home and understands my not wanting to drive the turkey rush. She’ll be spending the day with my brothers and doing house-hopping between their in-laws.

Since I will not be participating in the around-the-table-holding-hands-praying-thanking conversation, I thought I’ll still say what I am thankful for to myself and the mysterious community out there that may come across my words.

I am thankful for the security I have. In my solitude and quietest moments as well as my noisiest moments with a whole gang of friends, I have God.

I may have my moments of wishing to have a boyfriend or a husband but that is out of selfish self-interest. I don’t need a companion to validate my existence. It will be a joyful thing to find someone that I can celebrate the conversation of life with.

I am thankful that I like myself and enjoy being with myself and so I view all friends, company and suitors as a gift of who they are.

I am thankful that I am my greatest cheerleader and coach. I enjoy the love of my friends and I enjoy compliments and respect from the different communities of people that I am involved with. But the most important person in my life that cannot let me down is myself. I study and train. I send my cheerleader to cheerleading camp and my coach to seminars so that they are more effective in doing their best at taking care of me. I am my most dependable companion to church and class.

I am thankful that I love learning… and teaching. I embrace that which empowers me and then I pass it along to my friends, my private students. I also embrace that which attempts to steal power from me and I learn from it… and I share those lessons.

I am thankful to be learning a lot about love and commitment. I have learned tremendously by firstly being committed and loving to myself..

I am the possibility of unstoppable love, courage, self-expression and transformation. This is my game with myself and my life. I have my moments where the cheerleader and coach are not in sight but most of the time I am winning the game.

I have no desire to take power but to create and give. I have no desire to chase love but to create a space for it to exist and be accepted and enjoyed.

This is a Happy Thanksgiving to myself and to the special people that come across my words.

Much love to all…

JNET

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~ by jnetsworld on November 25, 2004.

One Response to “thankfulness in my solitude”

  1. […] read my second post, “a happy thanksgiving with myself” and realized that I’ve not left the path I was on but rather I’m holding on to […]

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